Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sher

Isn't anyone just a little bit angry?

I woke up this morning with the full intention of joining the rest of Sher's blogger friends to write a tribute.

Instead, I went to a neglected flower bed and started pulling weeds. As I yanked them from the ground I thought of Sher and of what I could write in tribute to her. Instead I continued to pull weeds. Ever more forcefully, throwing them further and further over my shoulder. With a vengeance I dug out a badly placed rose that I never much liked. It's roots were a tangled mess; no wonder it didn't thrive.

A few times a year Sher and I would have marathon talks on the phone. I delighted in her humor, her story-telling ability, her love of the animals who found her so they could be taken care of, her passion for gardening and cooking. Mostly I cherished the friendship that was forming. It didn't matter to her that we hadn't met face to face. We were friends.

Sher and I feigned jealousy of each other: She of me because blackberries grow rampant on my property; me of her because she lived in the city where I grew up and picked ripe, red tomatoes from her garden by mid-June.

She was looking forward to meeting up with Kalyn and I in San Francisco several weekends ago. This was the year when she thought she would finally be able to make it and she was very excited, as were we, at the prospect of us all finally meeting face to face. And, as we all know, she didn't make it. She died of a heart attack on the morning of the very day she was to meet with us.

Doesn't this make you just a little bit angry?

Before I knew it I'd weeded a 20-foot bed and dispatched with two plants, tossing them on the compost pile without a second thought. Breathing hard, my face, hands and the knees of my jeans streaked with red dirt, I looked back at the flower bed and felt a calm come over me. Yes, she died. Way too soon. And yes, there is a hole in what we call the blogosphere that will never, can never, be filled. And yes, after the shock then grief of losing this wonderful person and friend, I realized that I was really angry at the unfairness of it all.

The lily had been in a too-small pot on the front porch for far too long. I've just put it in the ground where I'll walk by it often on my way to the greenhouse to check on my as-yet unripe tomatoes. Lightly scented, ethereal in color, this is a lily I know Sher would have liked. My way, I guess, of both remembering her and saying good-bye.




Copyright © 2005-2008, Christine Cooks. All rights reserved

12 comments:

Paz said...

A beautiful flower for a beautiful-sounding woman. May she rest in peace.

Paz

Shannon said...

The anger at the unfairness of it all--I totally understand. Dammit, I miss her.

katiez said...

I'm so sorry...
And, yes, it's terribly unfair...

Kalyn said...

I love the flower. And yes, I am angry too. It doesn't seem one bit fair, does it?

coffeepot said...

Christine that is a lovely flower I am sure Sher would enjoy, and it is something one can never quite understand.

Bob said...

Christine
Thank you for the beautiful tribute to Sher. She would have very much appreciated it. The kindness you and the many other blogging friends of Sher have shown demonstrates how many lives she touched.
Sher's husband, Bob

Christine said...

Thank you Paz, Shannon, Katie, Kalyn and Sue. I know all of you miss her too.

Bob, I am very touched by your comment. I still find myself going to Sher's blog just to see her smiling face. I miss her.

Mimi from French Kitchen said...

I am so so sorry, Christine.

Sher seems to have touched a great deal of people, people I like. I feel really bad.

This is a lovely tribute. They all are.

Mimi

Christine said...

It's true, Mimi. Sher touched so many people because she was a funny and talented, multi-faceted person. Thanks for stopping by.

Glenna said...

Amen, Sister. I was angry too. So unfair, too soon, and such a smack in the face to us all.

I apologize it's taken me so long to catch up on all the memorials. I was feeling some of that anger too and I didn't know for a few days how to be nice and be okay with it.

I am now, as I'm sure are too, as much as we can be okay with it but I appreciate your honesty and your post. It's a great tribute!

Christine said...

Thank you sweet Glenna. I'm out of town for a few days and will catch up when I get back home. Good to hear from you.

Hugs.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely tribute to a great blogger, have been away for 3 weeks and have just looked up your blog as not everything comes through.
Anne